Its been long since I ve written anything. There's a small voice buzzing inside my head each time I press the connect tab on my computer screen and sign in on facebook, gmail, etc etc.. and that voice says that I should add another post to my blog. I happily ignore the voice as I get involved in answering mails, checking photos, chatting with friends and doing all sort of things that even if left undone wont make a difference in my life. So here is the problem - I give more time to trivial things over the important ones!! sigh!! I get a little disheartened when I realise this fact but I get reclusive when its enormity dawns upon me. Yes!!It is enormous because I ve spent half my life doing things that never mattered to me.As this thought settles on my mind and I start shuffling pages from my life, I decide to take a peek at people surrounding me.What I see amazes me....

I see that the grocer who lives down my lane is a wealthy man. He earns his bread and butter by running a grocery store. He is somewhere in his early 40's however he has a weatherbeaten face of a 60 year old with deep set eyes that peep from behind a cellotaped spectacles.He has paan staind teeth. His love for the betel leaf has made him speechless because he swallows half of his words whenever he attempts to mouth them through a betel quid. He is rich, rich enough to have servants to look after the store but he never hires them. He is rich enough to educate his son but he will never do that because he is worried who ll take care of the store after him. So this man gives up his son's career for the sake of a grocery store. His son dreamt to become an engineer but the grocery store quashed his dreams. So I see the grocer giving more importance to his grocery store over hs sons dreams.

Next, I see the old marwari seth who owns the bungalow next to my house. The seth is an enviable figure on our street. A lot has been spoken about his riches and his taste. This man has an eighteen year old daughter who aspires to become a fashion designer. But how can the seth allow his only daughter to stitch clothes for others. From his point of view, its a disgrace to the family if his only daughter becomes an ordinary seamstress. So, he spends a fortune to get her admitted to the medical college. His chest swells with pride whenever he announces that his daughter is going to become a doctor soon but I can see the sadness in that girl's pretty eyes who quietly lives her father's dream at the cost of her own.

What I am trying to say is that, we all live a life that does not belong to us.We are living someone else's dream at the expense of our own. I see this happening around me all the time and the irony lies in the fact that even after realising this, I keep sacrificing my dreams for others. I keep myself busy with several insignificant tasks  while the ones that I hold close to my heart are kept pending. My heart breaks to see the shattered dreams of the grocer's son and the marwari seth's daughter but when it comes to my unfulfilled dreams, I turn a blind eye towards them even when I dont have any peer pressure that dissuades me from following my heart.

It takes courage to live your dreams.A desire so strong that it burns all the obstacles between you and your dreams. I pray that everyone is blessed with that desire. I pray that everyone finds the courage to stand up for his dream. So go on...Dream - for dreams will guide you to happiness!! and everyone of us deserves to be happy!! 

Dentitis - Inflammation of a dental student

A long cherished dream is turning sour

Life is thrown out of my power

to become a dentist is akin to

tolerating torture, I never knew

Paying fines out of my pocket money, 

is now getting on my nerves, honey!!

Getting scolded for no mistake of mine,

thrown out of class, standing in a line

Sleeping in lectures that never seem to end

Passing time by miscalling friends

Being demotivated by teachers countless times

motivates me to write this rhyme

The postings turn out to be the worst nightmare

they subject us to torture one cannot bear

and the torture does not end here,

you can even fail is the worst fear

The only relief is the smelly canteen

a rare place for smiles to be seen

with tasty pulao and cold coffee to savour

we try to destress entire day's labour

The exam time is one helluva ride

cracking our domes, staying up all night

Caffiene addiction is the last measure

If that doesnt work, chits are our treasure ;)

The pracs are another thing we fear

the unidentifiable spots throw us outta gear!!

and the slides are our ultimate fascination

with cells dancing, giving no sign of recognition

Next comes vivas where we have a tought time

Even after studying, we end up like a mime

This precisely is the life we spend

Praying one day it ll come to an end

I wrote this when I was in III year, had joined the college after an undeserved exile, everything seemed so dark n shady then, m glad I was able to change things over the years!!
 This poem was written during one of the boring lectures I was forced to attend!!

First things first!!

"Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us."

                                               ~Oscar Wilde, "The Importance of Being Earnest"

Todays generation carries memories in e-formats and not diaries and quite contrary to what the golden period authors say or believe, todays generation has no time to remember what happened yesterday.They say that memories fade over time, but I beg to differ! Because for me, its priceless memories, both good and bad that have made my life worth living. Sometimes I think that if these much required but least desired sorrows would have not been a part of my life, then perhaps my life would have not been as exciting as it is today.

A journey began four and a half years ago.I didnt have the slightest clue of what I was in for, for the next few years.It was hard to contemplate then that life ll be full of surprises, ups and downs, twists and turns.In due course of time, I started enjoying my life the way it was. I started loving the challenges, the twists and turns. In fact, I have had so much of twisting and turning that a straight path of life, now seems boring.

So today, after finishing my graduation (somewhat, I m yet to appear for the practicals!!) I decide to kill time by taking a walk down the memory lane...

I dont remember the date..Guess it was sometime in the last of August 2005 when my college was scheduled to begin. I was on Cloud 9. Everything seemed perfect. A good result at PMT ensured me an admission to a Dental college. I guess I was happy, though m not sure. Maybe this was what I always wanted, I had worked hard to get it but now that I had what I wanted, I started doubting if this was what I really wanted. "Journey is always more exciting than the destination" and at the very beginning of my college, I had realized that this age old adage was true.

My first day of college began at YMCA, Sitabludi. That was the place from where the bus for my college, which was situated at the outskirts of the city was scheduled to leave. As I reached the bus stop, I was amazed to see no students around, instead the clerical staff was there in huge numbers to catch the bus.

As I  turned around, I saw a boy in uniform. He was short, dark and I couldnt help noticing his gait..and even after so many years, his walk hasnt changed a bit.He still walks with his shoulders stooped down.I didnt knew then that this guy will be adding memories to my forthcoming years in college.

 I debated with myself whether I should approach this guy and ask him if he is my classmate but hesitated for a while. At last, curiosity got the better of me and I walked upto him and started a conversation. I still remember his initial reaction. He was startled. Lolz!! I was not in uniform while he was wearing one and he seemed upset with himself over that. We both boarded the bus and I guess, it was time for him to debate now..Whether to sit next to me or behind me..Being brought up in a conservative Indian society, he decided to take the seat behind me..at that time, it seemed right, but when I think of it today, I can only laugh at it..

But rohan's decision didnt materialize for long because he was compelled to take a seat next to me very soon by the unruly clerical staff who thought that we both were violating their space.He shyly sat next to me. I tried my best to make him comfortable and I guess, I succeeded. I had a wonderful conversation with him for the next 30 mins to college. He was a naturalist, an artist, a very well spoken sweet boy. At that time, I underestimated his dedication towards art and nature.

Today, four and a half years have passed. I have changed a great deal but not Rohan. He has remained the same person he was when I first met him. Now that I know that he's one of the greatest flirt around, I wonder what made him behave so decently when I first met him. His dedication towards art and nature has only grown through the years.I m happy that unlike me, he at least knows what he wants in life and is working towards it.

After reaching college, Rohan vanished into thin air, I was not able to spot him for the next few days. I attended the induction programme and came back home. Rest whatever happened on the first day of my college doesnt deserves a mention for I have already penned the most deserving moments!!