Love it or hate it, you have to face it.
Its one thing you just cant avoid.
Now before you put on your thinking caps and start thinking in all weird directions..
Let me blow the whistle!!
Well, honestly I hate this whistle-blower too..dressed in khaki and white uniform..Their Pan stained teeth always shining brighter than their shirts..they keep blowing whistles at you and you watch them apprehensively..Fearing the arrival of one of the 'Traffic" police officer near your vehicle!
Even though I absolutely hate driving, I keep taking 'Joy'rides (mostly out of compulsion) down the roads of Nagpur and its here that I encounter some weird species of human kind..
Here's the brief description of those who roam the roads..
The 'ME First' kinds -
This species suffers from a superiority complex so superior that they think all other beings are immaterial. The ride the road like it belongs to them and they honk their horns like there's no tomorrow. Never ever tread the path of this kind for they in order to reach their important destination will never press on the brakes and if you happen to break their speed, you will get familiar with some un-parliamentary words of the local dialect which can never be seen in a dictionary.
The Mirror Watcher -
Mirror mirror on the wall! who in the land is fairest of all? Snow White is the legitimate answer, but there's a species which thinks that their name is an apt answer, and when they take the road, its always better to leave them on their own for they are so much in love with themselves that they never watch the road and ofcourse, you dont want to be caught under their wheels.
This kind wears tall heels and loud make-up..They are called mirror watchers because they have a strong affinity for mirror and cannot breathe if they dont catch a glimpse of themselves in a mirror every five minutes.
They also have a poor vocabulary for they dont understand the meaning of 'rear-view mirror'
Want to spot a 'Mirror Watcher'? Its easy..A female driver whose rear view mirror is focused on her pout, will always make her stand out of the crowd!!
The Street Racer -
The smartest of the lot, they have it all, right from a sexy sports bike to a cool helmet and a hot leather jacket. But do not dare to look beyond the helmet for what you see is not what you want. Some faces look better with helmets on them! and the street racer owns that kind of face that will disappoint you.
They love to vroom around on their expensive bikes, trying to catch attention. On road, the street racer can impress you but in a pub you will not even notice him.
So next time you see a lad crossing you on a sexy bike, dont be fooled !
The Color blind Lot -
The most dangerous of all, these are found in plenty on the roads of Nagpur. They suffer from color blindness and cannot distinguish between the Red and Green light of the Traffic Signal. They keep jumping signals and if you happen to come beneath their wheels, they have the nerve to give you a piece of their mind. I keep wondering how many color blinds our city has, and what baffles me is how do they procure a licence. Another strong reason for us to fight against corruption.
The Road Stalker -
This kind have a peculiar habit of flocking at signals. If you happen to stop by one, he will scrutinize you, looking up and down as if he has an X-ray vision. Even though you have your safety mask on, they will try and imagine what you look like. They are the pettiest of the lot.Though usually they are males sometimes you come across female road stalkers as well..Surprised? dont be..Its 2011 and section 377 has aided them as well!!
So these are a few of the prototypes I come across on roads. Though they are pretty strange, I still feel that my joyride on road will be incomplete if I dont come across any of them while commuting!
